


Cyberpunk: The Longest Road

by TombRaver85



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Smut, One Big Happy Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:13:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29432964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TombRaver85/pseuds/TombRaver85
Summary: After reaching Mikoshi with the aid of the Aldecaldos to remove Johnny's engram, V and her family of nomads must embark on the hardest journey yet... the one to save her life.  Will they be able to traverse the dangerous road to Tucson to meet with Panam's contact or will V be consumed by the guilt and consequences of the Biochip?
Relationships: Judy Alvarez/V
Comments: 16
Kudos: 136





	1. - THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

**Author's Note:**

> Following "The Star" ending with a Street Kid life path and Judy as the LI

_"I shall be telling this with a sigh_

_Somewhere ages and ages hence:_

_Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—_

_I took the one less traveled by,_

_And that has made all the difference."_

\- Robert Frost

The night clamored with celebration as the Aldecados celebrated a successful journey to their first stop with booze, singing, and laughter.They managed to set up their temporary encampment right before sunset in a ridge just outside of Phoenix.The trucks and trailers created a perimeter of safety for their camp with large green tents peppering the sandy ground. The nomads crowded around a large bonfire that warmed the frigid desert air as they drank and carried on.

V found herself huddled beside Panam on a log by the fire as they reflected on the not so distant past.The death of the family members weighed heavily on them both.V’s brows furrowed in regret.Had she not asked for their help, Saul, Bob, and Teddy would all still be alive.They traded their lives for hers but at what cost?The prognosis was still grim and she couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t worth it.The consequences for Evelyn’s heist resulted in a bullet to her brain and it was Johnny that brought her back.Perhaps her body belonged to him after all.Perhaps this was _all_ just borrowed time and eventually, she’d have to pay the price.That bastard was right.She actually missed the cynical fucker chatting in her head. 

“Don’t get too cozy,” Judy’s voice tore V from her thoughts.The spunky techie strolled up behind them, arms crossed underneath her overalls in an attempt to protect herself from the cold night air.“Save some V for me.”She grinned wryly at Panam as the nomad nodded, scooching over to make room.Judy’s grin grew even wider when her eyes met with V’s. 

“Jude!”It hadn’t been long since V left Judy in the tent to get settled but she was excited to see her join the celebration, non-the-less.“Why didn’t you grab my other jacket?”V pulled her in for a hug, rubbing warmth into her bare shoulders.

“Oh, you know…doesn’t warm the same if it doesn’t come from you.”Judy leaned in for a quick peck on V’s lips. 

“Of course!”The merc quickly slid off her brown leather Samurai jacket and pulled it over Judy’s shoulders.V cupped a hand on Judy’s cheek, taking in her soft, delicate features.“How’s that?”

“Mmm, better.”Judy pulled the jacket tightly around her as her eyes drifted closed. She pushed her cheek into V’s caress, savoring her touch.

“C’mon.Sit here and have a beer.The fire is perfect.”V motioned toward the empty space on the log with her free hand.Judy nodded and promptly found a seat as Panam handed her a beer.

“Thanks!This’ll hit the spot.”Judy popped off the top.V settled between them and they all lifted their bottles.

“To Saul, Bob, and Teddy,” Panam sighed solemnly. 

“To you, Pan.Our fearless leader,” V said as she pushed her shoulder into Panam’s with an optimism that made her smile. 

“To you, V.”Judy gazed amorously at her merc. 

“Yes.To you.”Panam placed a hand fondly on V’s knee and patted. With a clink, they all took a long slug of their beer. 

Judy moaned in satisfaction.“Mmm.Exactly what I needed.”

Judy and Panam chatted with each other as V gazed into the flickering blaze, becoming lost in the dancing flames.Her mind wandered to the prognosis once again.Vik’s pills managed the symptoms and kept her immune system from destroying her body but for how long?If they couldn’t find a cure, how long until it got ugly?And what would happen to Judy after?The woman had already sacrificed so much to come with them but what if it was all in vain?V shuddered at the thought of Judy in pain, haunted by the sounds of her cries after Evelyn's suicide.V squeezed her eyes shut, trying her best to make it all go away.

The soft push of a shoulder into hers yanked V back to reality.It was Judy with a look of concern that threatened to take V right back to those awful visions in her head.“Hey.Everythin’ ok?” 

V put her hand to her temple and shook her head.“Aaargh,” she grunted softly.The merc took a deep breath and sighed as she hunched over.“Sorry.Lot on my mind,” she breathed, doing her best to act composed.“I’m fine now.”Both Judy and Panam rubbed her back in concern. 

“Don’t be sorry, V.It’s been a long few weeks.Get some rest.That’s an order,” Panam offered a light hearted smile.She glanced over to Judy and the techie nodded in silent understanding. 

“I gotcha,” Judy stood up and tugged gingerly on V’s arm.

“Fine,” V groaned.Instead of protesting, V allowed herself to be pulled up.She nodded her goodnight to Panam and let Judy lead her to their tent.Judy pushed through the flaps and guided V to the cot.The merc sat down and buried her face in her hands.

“Gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Judy’s voice was soft yet stern enough to demand the truth from V, not some side stepped excuse to keep from talking about things.

V lifted her head and gazed up toward Judy’s concerned face.“Just got a lot on my mind is all.Can’t shake feeling guilty.Like it’s my fault they’re all dead.And what if it was all for nothing and after _everything_ , I still die in a few months?”

“Can’t think like that.”Judy crossed her arms as she stood quietly, trying to find the right words.“They knew the risks and chose to do it anyway.What’s the use of them givin’ their lives if you won’t even enjoy the time you got left.”

“And what about you?What will happen to you if I…” V paused and swallowed. “ _Y’know_?”

“Listen, Val.Before you, I was just goin’ through the motions.Worked for a while, but it didn’t feel right.When you came around, everythin’ suddenly had… _direction_.A destination and _hope_.There is _still_ hope and even if it all turns out to be for nothin’, at least we have these moments.Can live with that.I’m happy in _this_ moment.With you.”

“But if we can’t figure it out, I don’t want you to have to see me go out like that.”

“Not for you to decide.That’s for me, ya gonk.”Judy chuckled.She stifled whatever words of protest from V with a brief kiss.“And you know, I believe in Panam.From everythin’ you’ve told me and everythin’ I’ve seen, if anyone can do it, it’s her.I can see why she’s your friend.”

“Family,” V interjected.“ _Our_ … family.”She sighed as she took it all in.As a street kid, chasing eddies in Night City had been all she’d ever known.She’d been such a solo after Jackie died, fighting her way to the top, just to leave it all behind for something she’d never had before.A family.It would take some getting used to. 

“See?If anythin’ happens to ya, they’ve got my back, too.So, stop your damn worryin’.Or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?”V interrupted with smirk.

“Just have to make you.”Judy winked and grinned back.

“Consider me still ‘worried,’ then,” V chuckled softly. 

V reached out a hand and Judy took it adoringly.The merc gave a gentle tug, pulling the techie to climb onto her lap in a straddle.Judy pushed V back onto the cot with a hungry kiss, grabbing V’s wrists and holding them gently against the mattress.She paused to look dotingly into V’s eyes.V felt her stomach do a flip as she returned the gaze.“Still worried,” V managed, her grin growing wider. 

Judy arched a brow in amusement.“That so?”

“Yup.Might wanna bring out the big guns.This ‘worry’ doesn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon.”V bit her lower lip as she pretended to fight Judy’s grip of her wrists. 

“Hmm.”Judy grinned mischievously.She let go of V’s wrists and moved her fingers sensuously down the merc’s sides, stopping at the hem of her tank top.V sat up just enough so that Judy could pull it over her head and toss it carelessly behind her.Judy’s hands quickly slid across her bare skin, paying careful attention to her breasts with a sigh of contentment.V leaned back again and slid her hands beneath the heavy leather jacket on Judy’s shoulders, pushing it off.She wrapped her arms around Judy, holding her flush against her naked torso.Judy slotted her thigh between V’s legs, pushing into her.“How ‘bout now?”

V moaned, pushing her hips into Judy’s.“Mmm.So much worry.” 

Judy chuckled as she began kissing across V’s jawline, making her way to her ear.Once there, she carefully drew the merc’s lobe between her teeth and bit down ever so gently, making V shiver.V sucked in her breath as she moved her hands to Judy’s hips, pulling her into her.

“Bigger guns…”V moved one hand beneath the shoulder strap of Judy’s overalls and slipped it down.Judy pushed herself up and to her feet, letting her overalls fall and kicked them off with her shoes.She made a quick show of pulling off her own top, tossing it into the growing pile of clothes.

“Hmm.”Judy stood before V fully nude and rubbed her chin with a playful waggle of her eyebrows, inspecting the merc thoughtfully.V drank in the gorgeous sight, her breath hitching in her throat.“Think I know just the trick.”Judy’s mischievous grin grew wider as she leaned forward and made quick work of undoing V’s belt.The merc wiggled out of her pants as Judy pulled them off and threw them onto the ground.She dropped to her knees between V’s legs, gazing up at the her with lidded eyes.She began a line of searing kisses slowly up her thigh.V’s breath caught in her chest as she choked out a moan.V moved her hand to the top of Judy’s head in attempt to pull her mouth where she wanted her the most, but Judy did not oblige.The techie smirked as she bit into the soft flesh of V’s thigh and quickly soothed it with her tongue as a gentle warning.

“Fuck,” V objected as she felt the ache for her grow red hot. 

“Nu uh,” Judy purred.“No te _muevas_.”She hooked one arm around V’s thigh while pushing her all the way back with the other. 

“Oof.”V didn’t fight it.She fell flat onto her back, bunching the sheets in her fists to keep from reaching out again.Judy tightened her arm as she began kissing upward once again, keeping V from moving her hips.“Jude… _please._ I need—”Before she could finish, Judy buried her face between her thighs, her mouth moving deftly upon her as her tongue tasted her desire.“Fuck!”V cried out as if there wasn’t an entire encampment within earshot.She slapped a hand over her own mouth, stifling a moan. 

“ _Cállate_.”Judy hissed as she grinned against her, humming softly.Her tongue worked with painstaking precision.She moved her hand down to her mouth and slowly slid her index and middle finger inside.V slapped her other hand over her mouth in order to obey Judy’s command.She managed to muffle her cries and moans in her hands as her hips bucked desperately against Judy’s mouth. 

V pulled her hands away from her mouth and tangled them in Judy’s hair.“Gonna make me—”V squeezed her eyes shut as she began to shake, the mounting bliss threatening to overtake her.Judy crooked her finger inside her and V instantly exploded.The merc couldn’t hold back anymore as the ecstasy crashed through her, her cries thundering through the tent.Judy was no longer concerned at their amplitude, moaning at the sound of V’s pleasure, continuing to work her mouth. 

“Ok, definitely not worried anymore,” V laughed as she gasped, trying to catch her breath.She collapsed back onto the bed, breathless and shaking.Judy smiled up at her and kissed a careful, reverent trail up her merc’s body, finally stopping at V’s mouth.

“Think the whole camp knows how _not_ worried you are.”Judy chuckled and dropped into V’s embrace.She placed a gentle kiss onto V’s forehead. “Time for you to get some rest.” 

“Aw, what about you?” V groaned as she tried to reach between her legs.Judy gently pushing her hand away. 

“Tomorrow.”Judy kissed her sweetly and buried her head into the crook of V’s shoulder and they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_Johnny leaned over the railing, gazing down on the glowing night life of Night City.V sat stoically on the plastic crate, gazing at her boots.They sat in silence on Jackie’s rooftop._

_“Told ya, V.Their lives are weighing heavy on your soul now, aren’t they?”Johnny shook his head as he puffed away at his cigarette._

_“You were right,” V whispered.She shook her head, burying her head in her hands.“You were always right.”_

_“Ah, c’mon.”Johnny groaned.“Pull yourself together.”He spun around to look down at her, his disapproving frown making her shudder.“Can’t be that little devil on your shoulder to talk sense into you anymore.Yet here I am, calling you ‘pathetic’.”_

_“I miss them, Johnny.Even miss your sorry ass.”V sobbed, her words muffled by her hands but she knew he heard her.He frowned but his features softened as he put a hand on her shoulder._

_“Gotta make the most of whatever you got left.Don’t need me to tell you that.”_

_“One day, I’ll have to pay the price for everything,” V gasped.She picked her head up and gazed at him with tear stained eyes._

_“Maybe.Sure… but not today.Live in the present or whatever the fuck they say.”He scoffed at his own advice.He took a long drag of his cigarette before flicking it over the railing as ash rained down upon Night City._

_“Really?Johnny?”She tilted her head in disapproval._

_“It’s a fucking dream, V.Not even really in your head, anymore.”Johnny shot her a sideways grin.“Miss you too, kid.Tell that output of yours I said, ’hi,’ will ya?”_

_“Will do.Tell Alt ‘hi’ for me.”_

_Johnny saluted and dissolved into code, assimilating with the night sky.V wiped her eyes and looked out at the city for a moment.The city called to her but this time, she was done with its promises._

_* * *_

V awoke with a start.Disoriented, it took her a moment to figure out where she was. _On a mattress._ She looked around. _In a tent.In a camp._ She began to gain her bearings.As she looked around, she realized that she was alone.“Jude?”The merc pulled a blanket around her naked body and pushed to her feet.She looked out the window flap.The sun barely peaked over the canyons, casting a stunning purple and orange throughout the morning sky.The breathtaking sight left her in awe as she took a moment to take it in.

“Mornin’,” Judy’s voice came from outside the tent before she pushed through the door flap, holding a metal plate and a cup of coffee.“Thought you might like some breakfast.Gotchu your coffee, too.Cream and sugar, just as you like.”The techie grinned at her merc, sweeping over to her and setting the plate beside V on the bed.On it were scrambled eggs and EEZYbeef.“Mitch says the eggs are powdered but don’t much know the difference.” 

“Shit, neither does anybody.”V grinned, pulling her down for a sweet kiss.“Thank you.You’re perfect.”

“Don’t gotta butter me up.Already gotcha breakfast.”Judy chuckled as she sat on one of the storage containers across from V.She handed V the coffee while sipping on her own.“Gonna help Carol with some stuff today.The stuff _you_ fried.”Judy smirked and leaned back, crossing her leg over her knee.

V sipped at her coffee and took a heaping bite of eggs.“Mrr brrd," V said with her mouth full.

“Charming,” the techie laughed.“That’s why you got _me_.Clean up your _messes_.”She sighed and gazed at her merc endearingly.V stopped chewing for a moment to gaze back.She felt that familiar flutter in her chest.

V swallowed her food.“I— thank you.Don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Sometimes, I wonder the same thing about you.”

V shifted thoughtfully, tapping the fork idly on the plate.She stopped tapping before she spoke.“Y’know.Before you, everything was about the eddies.Even with Evelyn.Was only gonna give her the relic cuz she offered more for it.”The merc frowned for a moment as she reflected on who she was before the heist.“When I met you, there was something about you that made me wanna… do _better_.Fight for what’s right.Take care of the people I love.Taught me not to take things for granted.That time you called me a ‘good person’ was honestly the first time I’d ever heard anyone call me that.Honestly don’t think I _was_ a ‘good person’ before that moment.”V suddenly choked on her emotion, washing it away with a sip of her coffee.“So, yeah.I wonder every day what I did to deserve such an output, a second chance at life, and a family that would die for me.All I did was fuck up while klepping a chip for your friend.”She shook her head as she struggled with her next words.“It _killed_ me, y’know.” 

Judy sat quietly, her brows raised, stirred by V's words.She thought for a moment and cleared her throat.“Thanks for that, V.”She rubbed a hand through her hair as she reflected.“Sometimes, it ain’t about what we do.It’s about what we _learn_.Ain’t 'bout the road, but how you get there, and what you take from it.The ‘road less traveled’ don’t mean shit if you don’t learn nothin’ from it.We’ve all done shit, Valarie.Gotta forgive yourself eventually and—”

“I love you,” V blurted out.She couldn’t help it.Her heart pounded in her chest and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.There were no take backs.A silence fell over them both as Judy’s mouth fell open. 

After a moment, Judy smiled sweetly.Her eyes sparkled amorously as she leaned forward and reached across the tent.V took her hand, stroking it softly.“I love you, Val.Have for a long time.” 

“Was it my BD face?”V did her best impression of the face she made after the shock of her first braindance the first time they met, throwing herself back on the bed dramatically. 

“Ha!Not tellin’, anyways.”Judy laughed and pushed herself to her feet.She leaned down and kissed V’s forehead.“Eat your food.Gonk.Be back in a bit.”She spun around and pushed open the tent.

“Oh!”V sat up quickly.“Johnny says ‘hi’!” 

Judy arched a brow and chuckled.Perhaps nothing surprised her anymore.She nodded before letting the tent close behind her leaving V alone with her breakfast and her thoughts. 


	2. - THE DAY I TRIED TO LIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aldecaldos have lost contact with their next stop. Without those supplies, they'll most certainly never make it to Tucson. They'll need to figure out what happened, and fast, before they can decide their next move.

_"I woke the same_   
_As any other day except a voice was in my head_   
_It said, "Seize the day_   
_Pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the rolling heads"_

_The day I tried to live"_

\- Soundgarden

The rising sun cast a brilliant golden hue as far as the eye could see.V sighed as she gazed up at the beautiful sky. Her boots scrapping across the sand, leaving a cloud of dust behind her as she trudged through camp.Only a few Aldecaldos were awake, tending to their mourning routines.The rest were sleeping off their hangovers.

V found Panam and Mitch huddled over a wrinkled paper map on the table near the main trailer.Panam’s eyes narrowed slightly as she inspected the route Mitch traced with his finger.They both looked up as they heard V approach.

“Eyy!V!Good to see ya,” Mitch smiled fondly at the merc that saved his ass more than once.“Diddya enjoy the breakfast I made ya?Your output told me take care of you.”

“Delicious!Not sure I’ve even had actual eggs before.”

“Heh.Well, not sure anyone has for quite some time but you can’t even tell they’re synth eggs!Found a buncha cases after we raided a Militech convoy.”He nodded proudly and clapped a hand on V’s shoulder.“Breakfast fit for a hero.”

V did her best to accept the compliment but guilt washed over her and she felt herself deflate a little bit.“Thanks, Mitch.”

“Heard you got some good _rest_ last night.”Panam grinned and winked at her friend.“Think everyone did for that matter.”

V felt her cheeks grow red.“Oh.Uh.”She stuttered as she shifted nervously.“Real sorry about that.”

“Ah, dontcha dare apologize.”Mitch chuckled as he squeezed V’s shoulder.“That’s quite a supportive output ya got there.Better hold onto that one and take good care of her.Connection like that is rare these days.”

V rubbed the back of her neck and nodded.“You’re right, Mitch.Brings out the best in me.”Her embarrassment faded into a toothy grin as she thought about Judy. 

“Gonna need that, V.Fixin’ ya won’t be a walk in the park.”Mitch’s voice grew suddenly solemn as he shifted his attention to the map and Panam.

“Lost comms with our next stop.It’s not like them to go radio silent.”Panam pointed to a circled dot on the map.“Our vehicles won’t make it to Tucson without refueling at that station and we only have enough food to last us three more days, tops.”She frowned as she looked at V.“Don’t need to tell you this but if something happened to them, we are in a world of shit.”

V took a deep breath as she considered everything she was hearing.“Can we send someone ahead to scout?See what’s up?”

Mitch nodded.“Yeah.Gonna put together a small crew and send them with the drone to take a look.Could use some help leading the expedition.” 

“Sounds like just the job for me.”V nodded as she studied the map.She glanced over to Panam, surprised by the troubled look in her friend’s eyes. 

“Sure you’re up to it, V?Really oughta be resting right now.”Panam looked uncharacteristically concerned.Panam learned a lot about the merc in the last few weeks, including how far V would push her limits to do what needed to be done.But now, there was no reason for her to have to carry the burden alone. 

V crossed her arms and leaned against the table.“‘Course I’m up to it.”

Panam sighed softly.She knew it was wasted effort to try and change V’s mind.“Very well.”

“Alright.The spot is 12 miles out.”Mitch traced the route with his finger.“There’s a ridge overlooking the rendezvous point which will be perfect cover to check it out.Use the drone to record the situation and come back.Whatever you find, do _not_ engage.Don’t need to draw extra attention right now.”

“Easy, peasy,” V nodded.

“You got an hour to gather everything you need.I’ll recruit some vets and prepare the vehicles.Get whatcha need and meet back here in a half an hour.” 

“Aye, aye, sir.”V threw Mitch a salute.

“Dismissed,” Mitch chuckled as he saluted back sarcastically.

V’s first order of business was finding Judy whom she located right away in the netrunner tent.The techie knelt behind Carol, holding wire cutters and an armful of patch cables.Carol worked meticulously on the server tower, holding out her hand occasionally to call for the wire cutters.Judy observed intently, accumulating whatever knowledge she could from the experienced veteran. 

V cleared her throat to announce her presence, not wanting to sneak up on them while they worked.The pair turned to see V approach and Judy instantly jumped to her feet with a grin. 

“V!”Judy waved the pair of wire cutters and set them and the patch cables down by her side.The merc stopped beside her, kissing her cheek in an effort to remain as professional as she was able in front of the humorless elder. 

“How’s it going in here?”V gazed cautiously at the towers of technology that were far outside of her expertise.

Carol finished with a patch cable before getting to her feet and turning to V.“It’s going.Did quite a number on our gear, V.”Carol pointed to the blackened patch panel.Her hardened expression made it difficult to tell whether or not her disappointment was genuine.“But your output, here, is quite an asset.”A smile hinted at Carol’s weather features.Judy grinned proudly, grabbing both of V’s hands into hers.Carol glanced between the lovers and chortled.“Ok.Gotta grab a capacitor from Mitch.Be back in a few.”Carol motioned for them to carry on with a smirk before leaving the tent.

“What’s up, Val?”Judy wrapped her arms behind V’s neck while the merc slid her arms around Judy’s waist. 

“Gonna run a scouting mission in a bit.Shouldn’t be gone too long but I wanted to give you _this_ before I leave.”V leaned forward and kissed Judy lovingly.

“Hmm.I’ll take it.”Judy broke the kiss suddenly.“Wait… why do I feel like there’s somethin’ you’re not telling me?”She tilted her head to the side with a smirk.The techie knew her all too well.

“Well—“ V began.“Contact was lost with our next stop.Need to refuel there or we won’t make it to Tucson.”V smiled confidently.“But it’s gonna be an easy run.Just goin’ to check it out, no shooting.Nothing to worry about.”

“Should be resting, V, but I know I can’t talk you out of it so…be careful, ok?”Judy’s eyes looked pleadingly into V’s. 

“Nothing’s killed me yet,” V chuckled before pulling Judy closer and kissing her long and deep. 

“How ‘bout not tempting fate.”Judy moved her hand down to V’s rear, giving a firm squeeze.“Just hurry back to me, 'k?”

“For more of that? _Absolutely.”_ With one more quick kiss, V released Judy before looking carefully into her eyes.“Promise.Jude, I—“ V paused.“I love you.”A warmth spread across her chest as the words fell from her lips. 

“I love you too, Val.”Judy caressed V’s cheek sweetly just as Carol returned through the tent flaps. 

That was V’s cue to leave.She shot Judy one last wink before waving to them.“See ya in a bit!”She turned and left the tent. 

As the merc treaded along to gather her gear, she couldn’t help the pang of sadness that crept into her stomach.V pulled her lips into a tight frown as her gaze fell to her feet as she ducked between the tents.Jackie’s lifeless face suddenly haunted her thoughts, taking over her vision.She stumbled for a moment, grabbing onto a nearby pole for support.Her heart began thundering in her chest, deafening anything else but the sound of her own heartbeat. 

“Arrgh!”V grunted and she squeezed her eyes shut.Instead of darkness, she saw Adam Smasher’s sinister grin as he held his metal foot over Saul’s head. _Smasher slammed his foot down and the nomad’s skull exploded into a sickening mist.Panam shrieked in horror as her mentor became a lifeless corpse right before their eyes.The sound of her scream ripped through V’s entire body._

_“No!”V yelled._

The tightness in V’s chest threatened to choke the life out of her as she desperately fought to breathe.“Shit—“ she whimpered.She snatched at the front of her tank top and gasped for air. 

Just as quickly as it started, it was over.Out of breath, V clutched her chest and felt her heartbeat as it slowly returned to normal.She panted and opened her eyes.Smasher and Saul were gone, replaced by the Aldecaldos encampment.To her relief, no one was around to see her.V shook her head and rubbed at her temple.

“What the fuck?”V shuddered as she regained control of her body.Was this cyberpsychosis or… worse? 

V took a deep breath and gathered herself and quickly headed to her tent.Once there, she wasted no time to collect what she’d need for the mission.She didn’t have long before the team would need her to report.Dropping her canvas backpack by the flap, V gave a final scan around the tent to make sure she grabbed everything needed.A quick glance at her watch told her that Mitch and her crew were already waiting.


	3. - KNIVES OUT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to their next stop? V leads a scouting mission to find out. Are they prepared for the truth and will a similar fate befall them? One way or another, they are quickly running out of time!

_"So knives out_  
 _Cook him up_  
 _Squash his head_  
 _Put him in the pot"_  
\- Radiohead

The three Aldecaldos vehicles plowed through the desert sand, leaving dust and fumes in their wake.V drove at the front in her Shion “Coyote”.She could see the ridge appear over the horizon. 

“ _Ok.There’s the ridge.We need to ditch these vehicles if we wanna keep a low profile,”_ V’s voice cackled through their headsets.She skimmed their surroundings and found a outcropping of Joshua trees and rocks.“ _Three o’clock.Let’s park there.”_

“ _Roger_ ,” Taco’s voice responded. 

The three changed their heading and pulled up to the spot.They killed their engines and climbed out.V pulled out her backpack and threw it over her shoulder.She glanced at Overwatch, the trusty sniper rifle gifted to her by Panam.Recalling their orders, V patted the long, slender body.“Not yet, girl.”She slammed the door shut and turned to the others.

“What do you think happened to everyone?”Kyle asked as he gathered his gear.

“No idea,” V responded. 

“Hopefully it’s just a broken comm unit or somethin’.”Taco shrugged his shoulders with a hopefulness that didn’t quite reach his eyes.He sighed and threw his backpack over his shoulders. 

Kyle took a deep breath.“Can only hope.”They nodded to each other and headed up to the top of the ridge. 

From the top, they could see the filling station, an automotive repair garage, and a couple of trailers in the distance.Kyle set down the black case that contained the drone and threw open the latches as V dropped her backpack next to Taco’s.She knelt near the edge and watched as Kyle activated the drone and removed the data shard from the case. 

“Alright, V.Work your magic.Gonna watch from here.”Kyle powered on the device and picked up the tablet inside.The drone floated up from the case and hovered in front of them, revealing everything it saw on the tablet in Kyle’s hand. 

“Let’s get this over with.”V took a deep breath and took the data shard from Kyle.She slid it into the slot in the back of her head and instantly took control over the recon device, setting it to record.She activated the stealth camouflage and guided it over the gas station and the surrounding buildings.At first glance, it appeared to be deserted, yet all of the ally vehicles were still parked around the perimeter.V swallowed hard at the thought of what that might mean.They never left.

“Guys.All the vehicles are still there.”V searched for any movement as she flew the drone even closer. 

“Any signs of life?” Taco asked.He knelt down beside V and held up a pair of binoculars, surveying the scene.

V activated the scanner as the drone zeroed in on the first building next to the pumps.The scan didn’t pick up anything.“No.At least there are no bodies.Suppose that’s a good sign.”She flew the drone past the building toward the automotive repair shop.Flipping on the scanner again, she caught the flicker of what looked like a person through a window.“Think I got something!”V maneuvered the drone as close to the window as she could, peering through with the scanner activated.The indicator lit up, revealing three people inside.One tinkered with the engine in the vehicle bay while the two others sat in the waiting area, eating around a small table.“Got three live ones down there.”

“Then why aren’t they responding to comms?”Taco shook his head.“Don’t like this.Don’t like this one bit.”

An uneasy feeling fell over V and into the pit of her stomach.“Know whatcha mean.”She guided the drone back up and kept going.Directly behind the repair shop, she saw what appeared to be a bonfire.“Got something else.”She hovered over it and engaged the scanner, indicating two more people.The scanner locked on nearby to a pile of trash.She zoomed in only to see the lifeless faces of the former occupants peaking out from under the garbage bags.“ _Fuck_!”V nearly fell over in an attempt to get away from the sight but she was still synced with the drone.She turned the drone around to face the bonfire to find a spit with the unmistakable shape of a human body being spun over the flames.“What the _fuck_?!” 

“Ohmygod—”The color drained from Kyle’s face as he was able to see what the merc was seeing on his tablet. 

V doubled over onto her hands and knees as her body involuntarily retched from what she just saw.She ripped the data shard from her head as she leaned over, losing the contents of her stomach right there in the sand. 

“The hell did you _see_?” Taco desperately and frantically scanned with his binoculars but couldn’t see past the first building.Kyle activated the recall function on the drone and it quickly rejoined them.

V struggled to regain her composure enough to report what she saw.“T-t-they—they’re all—“ V stuttered as she coughed and gagged.“They’re all dead.“She swallowed back bile before she was able to speak again.“And those _fuckers_ are eating them!”

Taco’s eyes widened in horror as they tried to comprehend what she said. “Oh my god,” he gasped.“We need to delta the fuck outta here!”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice,” V’s words quivered. 

“C’mon, V.”Taco reached out his hand and helped her up.Kyle quickly packed up the drone.No one dared to look back as they made a run down the path towards their vehicles.V was the first to hers and jumped in.The Shion roared to life just as the other two reached theirs.They each gunned it and took off in the direction of their camp.

“ _You ok, V?_ ” Taco asked into the headset as they tore across the sand.

_“Seen a lot of shit but_ that _was just…”_ V couldn’t finish.She swallowed hard as the images flashed through her mind, threatening to overtake her as she drove. 

“ _Know what ya mean_ ,” Kyle responded.“ _Gonna need a drink or two after this.”_

_“Gonna need a couple of_ bottles _after this_ ,” V responded. 

***  
  


The afternoon sun beamed steadily through the window slit of V’s tent.The merc sat silently on the cot, her eyes transfixed on nothing in particular.An open bottle of tequila rested in her hand.She found herself afraid to close her eyes for any length of time knowing that the dead could be just a blink away from haunting her. 

Judy pushed through the door flap and quickly knelt down in front of V.“Val, are you _ok_?Heard ‘bout what happened.”She placed her hands on V’s knees as her warm brown eyes peered into the merc’s vacant stare. 

“…”V could only frown as she remained silent. 

“Jesus, Valerie.”Judy stood up and sat beside her on the cot, pulling V in for a comforting embrace.She held her tight as V buried her head into the crook of Judy’s shoulder.

“It was—,” V whispered. “Pretty awful,” she managed finally.She grimaced as she added more to the list of shit to forget.It seemed like everything after the heist was haunting her these days.It used to be Johnny that helped her get her mind together enough to do what needed to be done to get to Mikoshi.She was beginning to believe that she couldn’t survive without him.The irony of having a voice in her head keeping her sane did not escape her.V took a heavy swig from the bottle. _  
_Judy ran a soothing hand through V’s hair, holding her even tighter.

“Don’t know how much more I can take, Jude.Think I’m losing it.Dunno if I can make it ’til Tucson.” 

“Yes, you can, Val.”Judy cupped V’s chin in her hand and pulled the merc’s face to hers.“Gonna get through this together, k?”She pulled V’s lips to hers and kissed her with a warmth and gentleness that brought V back from her daze.V returned the kiss fervently, wrapping her arms around the techie’s waist. 

“Hey!V!”The moment was interrupted by Taco’s voice outside of the tent. 

“Yeah?”

“Gotta brief Panam about the mission.Don’t have to go but I wanted to give you the option,” Taco said outside of the tent.V’s eyes widened in dread as she looked at Judy. 

Judy brushed a loose strand of hair behind the merc’s ear.“Whatever you want, V.Can even go with you if that’s what you want.” 

V nodded.“Yeah.I’d like that.”

Judy placed one last soft kiss onto V’s forehead and got up, holding out her hand.V took it softly and followed behind the techie to the briefing.They arrived with Taco to find Panam, Mitch, Kyle, and a newer member of the family, Andy, gathered near a table with the map.Panam stared gravely at the tablet, playing the footage they gathered from the earlier mission. 

“Jesus—“ Panam swallowed as she watched.She set it down and looked up as V approached.“V.”The nomad frowned and shook her head.“Are you ok? How are you feeling?”

V cleared her throat as she stopped next to the table.Judy hooked her arm around V’s waist for reassurance.“I’m fine, Pan.Mostly wanna make those bastards _pay._ ”

“You’re damn right, we will.”Panam clenched her fist as she glared at the circle on the map.She looked over to Mitch. 

“Got two problems to deal with.One, we don’t know how many of those sick bastards there are and we don’t know where their main encampment is.Two, ain’t got time to find out.”Mitch scratched at the stubble of his chin as he examined the map.“We do know that there are five of them at the site.”He pointed to the circle on the map.“Our main concern is resupplying so we gotta retake this spot and we gotta do it as soon as possible.Rest assured, as soon as we take it, the rest of them will come running,”

“Taking out that site was no small feat.We can only assume they are heavily armed and their reinforcements will be, too.”Panam looked between Kyle, Taco, and V.“This intel is gonna make all the difference.Thank you.”She stopped at V and placed her hand on the merc’s shoulder.“I’m ordering you to take it easy.Need you in top shape these next few weeks.”

Andy shifted as he rubbed the back of his neck in annoyance.He crossed his burly arms and shook his head.“Shoulda been resting in the first place.Now we gotta clean this up while tending to _you_ , V.” 

V was taken aback by this stranger’s sudden hostility.Before she could respond, Judy cut in. 

“Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?Don’t need that shit right now.Don’t you _dare_ blame this on her,” Judy snarled at Andy.She glared at him with eyes that looked like they could kill all on their own.

“We’ve all been through a lot these past few weeks.Let’s not jump down each other’s throats for stepping up for the family, _Andy_.”Panam was visibly resentful of Andy’s comment but she managed to maintain her composure for the sake of the briefing.

Andy scoffed at them.He opened his mouth to say something else but was quickly interrupted by Mitch as he placed a hand on Andy’s shoulder.“That’s enough, _son_.”Mitch narrowed his eyes, letting him know that his “nice guy” demeanor only went so far.“V has done more for this family than most folks so save your criticism for the mirror.”The man’s eyes widened as he noted the seriousness in Mitch’s tone.

"Yes, sir.”Andy nodded, clearly uncomfortable as the crew glared at him. 

“Now, where were we?”Mitch turned away from him and picked up the tablet to pull up a scan of the area.“I think our best bet is to attack them tonight.The surprise just might give us the advantage we need.”He pointed to the ridge.“We can post a sniper up here to keep a look out for any reinforcements.If we can do it quietly, that’ll be ideal.”

“I like that idea, Mitch,” Panam nodded.“Can I leave you in charge of putting together the mission?”

“It’d be my pleasure.”Mitch grinned proudly. 

“Alright.Thanks, Mitch.Brief me at 1600 hours so we can be on the road by 1800.” 

“Roger!”Mitch picked up the tablet and quickly left to work on his mission. 

Panam turned to everyone else.“That’s all we can do for now.Stay ready incase Mitch needs you.”She looked over to V and Judy.“Keep an eye on her for me?”Panam’s dark gaze fell warmly on the merc.V managed a weak smile.She hated feeling so helpless.

“‘Course.”Judy nodded, grateful to have Panam’s patience and understanding on their side.She turned to V and took her hand gently, pulling her towards their tent.Once inside, Judy guided her to the bed.

“Hate having everyone needing to fuss over me all the time.Andy was right.I shoulda stayed here,” V frowned.Her eyes fell heavy onto the ground.

“Hey.Fuck that asshole, Val.He don’t know shit.Not fussin’, anyways.”Judy helped V out of her Aldecaldos jacket before sitting beside her.“No one’s fussin’.We’re just… lookin’ out for each other.”

V noticed that Judy used “we” as she referred to the nomads and smiled.It was good to hear that Judy felt a sense of belonging with the nomads.It even made herself feel better about the idea of being part of a family.She wasn’t used to asking for help, let alone having people around actually willing to openly give it.V grabbed Judy’s hand.“Glad you feel at home.” 

“My home’s with you.”Judy smiled sweetly at her merc, cupping V’s cheek in her hand. 

“Still don’t know what I did to deserve you.Gotta thank my lucky stars.”V relaxed into the techie’s touch and at least for the moment, she felt safe.


	4. - SNUFF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With V unable to join the mission to deal with the cannibals that have thrown a wrench in the Aldecaldos plans, she must find a way to occupy her thoughts. Judy does what she can but V still feels consumed by guilt. V will soon find that the greatest enemy to their mission might be herself.

_"Bury all your secrets in my skin_   
_Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins_   
_The air around me still feels like a cage_   
_And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again"_

\- Slipknot

V sat up with a gasp as she awoke.Disoriented and confused, her surroundings slowly slid into focus.The evening sun hung low in the sky, casting a brilliant orange glow into their tent as Judy tinkered with something on the table in the corner.The techie looked up to see V awake.

“Hey, sleepy head,” Judy grinned. 

“How long have I been asleep?”V rubbed her eyes and turned to face Judy. 

“Not long.Hour or two.”Judy closed the laptop in front of her and tossed a data shard into a small box beside it.“It ain’t 1800 yet if that’s what you’re wonderin’.” 

V nodded.It was, indeed, what she was wondering.“Whatcha working on?”She slid to the edge of the bed to peer at the array of projects on the table.

“Oh, a bit of this.A bit of that.Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”Judy winked.

“Fine.Fair.”V lifted her arms to stretch only to be bombarded by the acrid smell of her arm pits.“Yikes.”She quickly put her arms back down and gave her shirt a whiff, wrinkling her nose.“For everyone’s sake, gonna go shower.”

Judy chuckled and nodded.“Join you in a few.Gotta finish somethin’.”She opened the laptop back up and began typing intently. 

V nodded and pushed herself to her feet.She placed a soft kiss onto Judy’s forehead before grabbing a hanger of clean clothes and headed out of the tent.She trudged past the tents and to the “Firewater” trucks which doubled as a pretty satisfying shower experience.It didn’t offer much privacy, just a see-through plastic sheet hung crudely between them, but after a few weeks, she didn’t much care for modesty.No one else did.Plastic pallets kept the ground from becoming a filthy mess and V was much appreciative as she kicked off her boots and stepped onto the nearest one.She stripped out of her clothes and hung them over the truck’s ladder.V moved beneath the shower head and turned on the water, feeling the instant rush of warmth and satisfaction as she stood under the steaming stream.The merc closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh. 

After a few moments of enjoying the warmth of the water, she pumped the soap into her hand and lathered herself, becoming lost in her thoughts.She closed her eyes and thought about Saul.A dull ache flared through her chest as the guilt washed over her once again.Her mind flashed to Jackie, his eyes growing lifeless in front of her.Around and around, over and over again.She couldn’t escape them.She felt like she was losing her mind and losing her grip on reality.Was it a neurological reaction to her immune system?That meant it would only get worse and she would die a shell.If she told someone, she might spend the rest of her days having to be taken care of while her mind turned against her.The thought made her shudder.The last thing she wanted was to be unable to pull her own weight.It felt like punishment to stay behind when all she wanted to do was get to Tucson and meet with Panam’s contact.She wanted to fight her way if necessary… for Judy.For the Aldecaldos.Her life hung in limbo yet again.  
  
V lost track of time and suddenly felt a slow, sensuous touch across her hips.She looked down to see Judy’s unmistakable tattoos.The techie pressed her naked body against V’s back, sliding her hands along the merc’s stomach, and then her breasts.

“‘Bout time.”V softened into Judy’s touch before turning around.She wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled Judy under the cascading water.Judy slipped her arms around V’s neck and kissed her with a ferocity that caught V off guard, making her weak in the knees.“Mm.This is nice.”The merc smiled against her mouth before kissing back, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths hungrily. 

Judy broke the kiss, leaving them both panting.Her dark gaze sparkled mischievously.“Turn back ‘round.”She motioned for V to face the truck. The merc did as she was told, using her hands against the truck to hold herself steady. “Buena.”Judy leaned in, molding her body against V’s and kissed her neck as the merc let her head fall back onto the techie’s shoulder.Her hands glided across the front V’s wet body, exploring her curves before slipping a hand between V’s thighs.

“Woah.Here?Not complaining but I don’t think—“ Before V could finish, Judy slid a finger inside her.V gasped and melted into Judy’s arms as the techie slowly moved her finger in and out. 

“No one’s comin’ this time a’day but you,” Judy whispered into V’s ear.

“Fuck, Judy,” V whimpered as she moaned, the electricity from her touch spreading through her.Judy began to speed up as she nuzzled at V’s neck, nibbling at her earlobe. 

“That’s exactly what I’m doin’,” Judy purred.She stopped suddenly and spun V back around by the shoulders.Immediately, she started a trail of kisses from V’s neck to her stomach, then lower.She grinned up at her merc before burying her face between her thighs.The sensation of her warm mouth and the warmth of the water was so strong, V nearly fell over.She steadied herself by tangling her hand in Judy’s hair, pulling just hard enough to incite a pleasurable moan from her. 

“Nngh, Jude.You feel so good.”V squeezed her eyes shut and savored the sensation of Judy’s tongue on her. 

“Oh.Uh—“ A stranger stood wide eyed at the shower curtain.Shocked by the sudden new voice behind them, Judy and V leapt apart.They looked over to see the startled expression of a middle aged woman with a towel over her shoulder. 

V’s eyes widened in horror.“Oh shit!We were—“ V stammered and looked over to Judy.Judy threw her head back and laughed.She grabbed V by the hand.

“C’mon, V!”Judy pulled V out of the shower area and through the tents.They ran naked to their tent and bursted through the door flap.Out of breath, Judy collapsed onto the bed as she continued to laugh uproariously.V put her hands on her knees as she hunched over near the tent door, trying to catch her breath from both running _and_ embarrassment.She looked over at Judy and finally allowed herself to grin.

“Guess someone _does_ shower at this time of day,” V chuckled.

“C’mere, Val.”Judy stopped laughing enough to beckon V over to the bed as she laid languidly across it.V obliged and when she was close enough, Judy pulled her by the hand down on top of her, tangling her legs around V’s.She wasted no time, leaning up and kissing the merc eagerly, her hands roaming V’s athletic curves.V steadied herself above her, returning the searing kiss in earnest, caressing Judy’s cheek. 

V stopped for a moment and stared deep into Judy’s dark, endless gaze.For a moment, she was sure she could see into her soul… and it was breathtaking.“Jude.I love you.”V ran her thumb across her jawline.Judy stared up at her merc with a vulnerability that could melt the coldest of hearts.

“Oh, Valerie.”Judy reached up and stroked V’s cheek.“I love you, too.So much.”Her lips turned with the subtlest of smiles. She leaned up and kissed her merc as if she were starved.The whole world suddenly melted away and all V wanted was to be as close to this woman as she could.To breathe her, taste her, feel her. Judy gently guided V’s hand from her cheek down along her body, writhing in pleasure beneath her touch.She continued to guide her hand until she pushed her between her thighs.V pressed in, sliding her fingers inside slowly as she pushed her hips against Judy.Judy sucked in her breath, wrapping her legs around V’s waist, holding her as if letting go might mean the end of them both.She moved her own hand down and between V’s legs, desperate to give V as much pleasure as she was giving her.Her fingers made V moan out loud.They moaned together as V moved her hips against Judy’s.Their bodies, still wet from the shower, slid easily against each other as they moved in tandem.Their rhythm grew faster, harder, more frantic as their fingers moved deftly inside and against one another. 

V’s gaze met Judy’s in the wake of the intimate moment.Watching Judy’s reactions to her touch pushed her closer to the edge as she felt the spiral of warmth spread through her from Judy’s touch.They cried out together as they both climaxed in unison, rocking against each other with reckless abandon.V held Judy as close to her as she could, letting the world around her completely fade away.

After a luxurious few moments, V curled into Judy’s side, holding her tight.“That was—“ V struggled to catch her breath.

“Fuckin’ amazin’.”Judy smiled and kissed V on the forehead.

“Yeah.Fucking amazing.”She chuckled.“Even though we got caught.”

“Ha!‘Specially cuz we got caught.”Judy giggled.“Shoulda seen your face!”

“Saved by your quick thinking.”V turned red just thinking about it.She sighed and gazed into Judy’s dark eyes, brushing her hair out of her face.“But that means my clothes are still out there.Gonna need to get those.”V glanced at the clock on the radio.It was 1757.She took a deep breath, not wanting to let go of the gorgeous techie in her arms but she wanted to watch the mission in the control room.V pushed herself up and peaked out the window to see if the coast to the shower truck was clear. 

“Don’t you dare go to the control room to watch the mission.”Judy could see by V’s startled expression that it was exactly where she had planned on going.“V!”She sat up and glared at the merc. 

“Fine,” V sighed.As much as she wanted to lay with Judy, she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her mind off of anything and moments like that were better spent alone.“Just gonna grab my clothes and go for a walk.Maybe watch the sunset.Just… wanna be alone with my thoughts for a bit.”

“Ok.”Judy nodded but she hated seeing V so tormented by the past.She cast a sad gaze at V as the merc streaked out through the tents towards her clothes.

* * *

V kicked the rock off of the edge of the crag and watched it bounce off the ridges and boulders until it disappeared into the canyon.She took a big gulp from the hooch bottle, too numb to grimace at the harsh bitterness of Mitch’s special brew.It was known for keeping the demons at bay.So far, it wasn’t working.She couldn’t help worrying about the mission but every time she thought of the gas station, she saw the faces of the corpses left unceremoniously in the trash.She shuddered at the thought, taking another long swig from the bottle to wash down the guilt and bile. 

“Fuck this!”V’s voice echoed through the canyon.She furrowed her brows as she dug through her coat pocket and retrieved Evelyn’s cig case.She pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a sigh, taking a deep, long drag.“Thanks for the bad habits, asshole.”The asshole was Johnny, of course.She wondered how much of him was left behind. Who knows… maybe they were both pieces of shit before he ended up in her head.Maybe it was him that made her brave enough to fight for something that wasn’t completely selfish.Johnny was an egotistical prick, sure, but he believed in something bigger than himself.Before him, V only cared about eddies and making a name for herself.It was like the Universe held up a mirror to her and showed her the consequences of being a self-centered asshole.What if losing him meant losing her bravery? 

V took a long drink of the hooch, following it with a pull from her cigarette.The sunset spread a breathtaking pallet of purples, pinks, and blues across the sky but V couldn’t enjoy it.She squeezed her eyes shut only to see Saul again.

“Aargh!Fuck!”She couldn’t take it anymore.A fury overtook her as tears of frustration streamed down her cheeks.V put the bottle to her lips and drank until she couldn’t stomach anymore.A wave of intoxication washed over her and for a moment, she felt like she could breathe.For a moment, she wasn’t haunted.For a moment, she was numb. 

V took one last drag of the cigarette before flicking it down the chasm.She chuckled as she remembered how she chastised Johnny for doing the same thing in her dream.“Yeah.Don’t gotta say nothin’, Johnny.”He couldn’t.He was gone.Although she knew this, the realization felt like a knife to the chest.Even without him there, in her drunken stupor, she could almost hear him.

“ _Light. Weight.Get it together, V.Told ya to never stop fighting so… fuckin’ pull it together.”_

V sobbed.A disgrace to her, now, imaginary friend.For a moment, she considered just throwing herself into the canyon and escaping into the abyss.Just as quickly, she thought of Judy’s face and the very thought of hurting her that way made her tremble. 

“What am I supposed to do?”V called out to the sky, hearing only her echo in response.She shook her head again.The hooch wasn’t strong enough.V fished through her cargo pocket and pulled out an inhaler of Black Lace.As a street kid, she was very familiar with the drug.She’d managed to get her hands on a few after hitting a Maelstrom warehouse but hadn’t had a use for them until now.She put it to her mouth and depressed the top, sending a wave of noxious chemicals into her lungs.She held it in and closed her eyes, letting the wave of euphoria wash over her.V let it out and opened her eyes, her surroundings bending and shaking for a moment before sliding back into focus.Finally, she didn’t feel so guilty.Finally, everything didn’t weigh so heavily on her soul. 

V hit the inhaler again, draining it of it’s contents before chucking it down the ridge.The sun dipped below the horizon and V took a long, deep breath of the dry desert air.She did her best to enjoy the moment but her head began swimming in intoxication, but it was a welcome change.She sighed and pushed herself to her feet, wobbling a bit before steadying herself enough to trek back to camp. 

V arrived to an air of celebration.She saw that Panam and Mitch’s vehicles had returned so it could be assumed that they were successful.The Aldecaldos bunched around the fire so V pushed her way through the crowd to find her friends in the center.

“How’d it go?”V slurred.She stumbled on her approach.Panam grabbed her arm and kept her upright, holding on until the merc was steady. 

“We killed every last one of those sick _bastards,”_ Panam responded triumphantly.She took a celebratory drink from her beer bottle.“They call themselves the ‘Hannibals’.Can you believe that shit?”

“Find out where their main camp is?”

“No but those fuckers were making XBDs of everything.”Panam cringed at the words as she said them.“Fucking snuff shit, V.”

“What?”V’s mouth fell open as she thought of some sick fuck watching those XBDs to get off. 

“We’re gonna comb them for clues.I’m sure we’ll have the location in no time.”Panam forced a grin and pulled V in for a hug.“Glad to see you’re getting some R&R.”

“Thanks, Pan.”V returned the hug but her mind drifted off to the XBDs.Maybe that’s how she could be productive.She’d be the one to comb for clues and surprise everyone with the intel.The plan unveiled itself in her mind.The first part was finding out where Panam kept them.“Damn.Keep those BDs far away from me.”

“Don’t worry.Keeping them them in the command trailer for now.”It worked.The nomad gave V all the information she needed.The merc nodded.

“Hey.Good job tonight.Gonna find Judy.”V patted Panam on the shoulder and slipped out of gathering, taking an unassuming stroll to the trailer.She peaked around to make sure the coast was clear before ducking inside.

On the middle table, V found the box of XBD cards from the mission.She rifled through it, picking one out at random.She picked up the BD wreath next to the box and sat down in the reclining chair, pushing the chip into the headset.V sat quietly for a moment, her head still swimming with inebriation.Perhaps that was better for dealing with the subject matter.She shrugged to herself before leaning back in the chair and placed the BD wreath over her head. 

“V!What the fuck are you doin’?”The voice was Judy’s.V sat up, startled.She yanked the wreath off her head. 

“Was just—“No other words came into her head. 

“The fuck, V!”Judy’s voice quivered as she rushed over and placed her hands on either side of V’s face.Her expression was that of concern rather than anything else. 

“I’m sorry, Jude,” V slurred.She slumped into Judy’s hands, tears slowly streaming down her face.“How’d you find me, anyway?”

“Went to find you.Panam said you told her you were gonna look for me.Had a feelin’ you'd be here.”

“Just wanna help.This is what I do.”V’s face contorted in the rage that had been eating away at her.“Tired of feeling so _useless_!”She snarled as she slammed her fist into the table, unwittingly destroying the wreath, sending its pieces across the trailer. 

“V!”Judy tried to be the voice of reason, starring helplessly into the empty eyes of her merc. 

“Stop!Stop fusing over me!If you love me, let. Me. _Go_!”The anger flared through V like a wildfire.She yanked her face away from Judy’s grasp and shoved her with her shoulder as she got up from the chair.Judy stumbled backwards but caught herself on the metal desk, her eyes wide in shock. 

Suddenly, V felt a million miles away as if she were watching herself from afar.She watched herself as she glared at the techie with fire in her eyes.Words she had no control over spilled like poison from her lips.“Fuck.You.Don’t need you or anyone else taking care of me!Leave.Me. _Alone_.” 

Judy was clearly taken aback by V’s sudden outburst.“V.”She looked absolutely devastated.Her heartbroken expression gave way to a rush of tears.“You’re killin’ me.”If it weren’t for the desk behind her, she probably would have sank to her knees. 

The sight of Judy’s tears ripped V back to reality.“Ohmygod… Jude, I’m—“It felt like someone had stabbed her in the chest and gutted her right there on the floor.V collapsed to her knees, burying her head in her hands.“I’m so sorry.So, so sorry.” 

Judy could only stare, her brown eyes still wide with disbelief as she leaned away from V against the desk.Finally, she managed to gather herself and shook her head at V.“Can’t just let me in to destroy me, V,” her voice quivered as she managed to speak.“Don’t deserve that.”Judy sobbed as she turned around and exited the trailer, leaving V in a heap on the floor. 

“Fuck!”V pulled herself up to her feet and looked down at the box of XBDs.She swung her arm, swiping the box off of the table and sending the BDs crashing down around her.“What have I done?”


	5. BURDEN IN MY HAND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V grapples with what she has done but unexpected visitors force V to step up to plate. Will she be able to keep her demons at bay long enough to do what needs to be done?

_ “Kill your health and kill yourself _

_ And kill everything you love _

_ And if you live you can fall to pieces _

_ And suffer with my ghost _

_ I shot my love today _

_ Would you cry for me?”  _

\- Soundgarden

V sobbed inconsolably into her hands.She sat on the hood of her car, parked on the outskirts of camp, a good ways away from everyone as the festivities winded down for the night.The bonfire cast a soft orange glow below, unaffected by the darkness that seethed inside her. 

“Could really use you right now, Johnny.”V turned her grief stricken gaze to the stars.She could feel their disappointment glaring down at her, despising her for what she’d done.They’d sent her an angel and she went and broke her wings.“I’m so sorry,” she whispered to the sky.Over and over, her mind played her the moment of Judy’s heart breaking.It haunted her more than any other thing that had happened to her. 

V squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed at her temples.“Nnnn.”Her head felt like it was splitting open from all the poison she consumed to kill the monster inside her.All it did was turn _her_ into the monster.Her whole body felt like it was turning against her, like an ache deep within her soul, screaming its way to the surface. 

“ _You’re killin’ me, V,” Judy’s voice trembled.Tears slid down her heartbroken face._

“Fuck,” V whimpered.Again and again, it consumed every other thought in her mind.It broke her into new ways each time it played out.It made her feel so warped that she quite literally believed that she could see the shadows of her ghosts stalking her through the night.Ghosts of the people she couldn’t save.V narrowed her eyes and focused on one of the shadows as it crept silently.

_Wait._

V stifled a gasp at the sudden realization that they weren’t ghosts of her past at all.They were _real_ and they were hunting the camp.All her torment got buried beneath the surface as she instantly sobered up.

_Hannibals!_ They must have tracked Panam and the team somehow. 

V sprung into action, rolling off the hood of her car and ducked behind it, surveying the area.She counted two figures as they slipped through the night towards the camp.They were far enough away from her that she was able to quietly reach through the open car window and pull out Overwatch without being seen.

“Told ya, girl,” V whispered to her beloved sniper rifle.“Time to play.”The merc dropped all the way to the ground and low crawled to the front of her car until she was able to aim the rifle uninhibited.From a prone position, she raised the barrel and carefully scanned the scene.The night vision scope allowed her to see one of them clearly.She centered the crosshair over his head and carefully placed her finger on the trigger. 

_Deep breath in.Deep breath out.Slow, steady squeeze. Boom._

His head became a red mist, exploding as she pulled the trigger.“Gotcha.”The form crumpled to the ground.The silencer on the rifle allowed her to remain undetected as she lined up the next shot on the other figure.She aimed at his head, squeezing the trigger, and watched through the scope as his head became a bloody mess. 

V couldn’t be sure how many of them there were but she would bet her last eddie that there were plenty more.She pushed herself to her feet, grabbing her rifle, and dashed towards the tents.She shrouded herself in the darkness as she made her way back to camp.She needed to warn Panam and _fast_!

V kept low as she pulled out her halo.She dialed Panam’s number and let it ring. 

Panam answered, her face solemn but empathetic.“ _V?Just talked to Judy and—“_

_“Listen, Panam.The Hannibals are here!Musta tracked you somehow!”_ V hissed into the halo. _“They’re here to kill us!”_

_“Fuck, V!”_

_“Just… don’t start a panic.Get ready.”_ V hung up the halo just as she arrived at the edge of the tents.She knew she had to get to hers and warn Judy.There wouldn’t be time to apologize properly but she couldn’t stomach the thought of something happening to her and their words be the last ones to each other. 

V bursted through the opening of the tent.Startled, Judy jumped in her seat as she sat at the table in the corner.Her red, tear stained eyes went wide with surprise.Then, her expression turned to disgust as she glared at the merc. 

“The fuck, V?Can’t just bust in here like—“Judy snarled at V. 

“Jude!”V cut her off.“We’re being attacked!”

Judy’s furious glare turned to shock.Instinctually, she pushed herself up and grabbed for her A-228 CHAO handgun underneath the bed. 

V gazed at Judy ruefully.She knew she needed to say something… just incase, but she had no idea where to even start.“Judy.”She felt so ashamed.“I’m _so_ sorry.”V didn’t know what else to say.

Judy’s face gave away her feelings.She loved V so much and watching her suffer crushed her.But what V did?That broke her.When she regained control of her expression, Judy turned stoic.With the war in V’s head, she knew they couldn’t afford to dwell on it at that moment.She knew she had to give V something to fight for. 

“I forgive you.”Judy did her best to hide the pain in her voice.“Doesn’t change anythin’ yet.Let’s just get through this.”She wiped her mascara stained cheeks, smeared from hours of crying. 

V nodded.It wasn’t quite relief the merc felt.More like _hope_.It allowed her to pull her shoulders back and prepare for the inevitable fight.She took a deep breath and peaked out the window. 

“Wait,” V said suddenly.She reached into the stash box and pulled out the Mox, the shotgun Judy had given to her.V pumped it dramatically with a sneer.“Now we can go.”

Judy arched a brow and managed a soft chuckle.As mad as she was at the merc, she couldn’t contain the attraction she still had for her.After all, seeing V in action was part of what made her fall for her in the first place. 

Gunfire rang out and screams could be heard coming from the center of the camp.Any guilt or regret flew out the window and she knew it was time.Those fuckers were going to pay.V took a deep breath and nodded to Judy.Judy nodded back.The techie furrowed her brows as she pulled back on the slide of her weapon, chambering a bullet. 

V exited the tent first, Judy following close behind.The merc pressed herself against the tent and peaked around the corner towards the bonfire.Aldecaldos scattered in the chaos as gunmen opened fire from the outskirts.The Hannibals moved swiftly inward in an kill formation.If V and Judy could stay out of sight, they just might be able to double back and attack them from behind.V motioned with her head and they ducked down and ran to the next tent, remaining unseen. 

They continued moving from one tent to the next until they were positioned behind the attackers.V could see the veterans and Panam rally into their own formation near the bonfire, ducking for cover and shooting back at the Hannibals.As long as she stayed out of the family’s line of fire, V knew her plan could work. 

“Ok.You take the left, I’ll take the right.Gotta rush ‘em,” V whispered.Judy nodded but before she could go, V gently grabbed her hand.The techie looked back at her.“Be careful, ok?I love you… even though my actions showed you I didn’t.”That was all she had time to say. 

Judy paused for a second before finally speaking.“Prove it.”With that, Judy released V’s hand and ran to the left, ducking behind a concrete barrier. 

V took a deep breath and bolted to the right, also grabbing the cover of a concrete barrier.She peaked out to reassess.They were far enough apart that rushing them from either side would break up the Hannibals' formation and give the veterans a fighting chance.V looked across to Judy.She nodded.

“Now!”V gritted her teeth and leapt from the cover of the barrier, rushing towards the gunman.She heard Judy’s shots ring out just as she got close enough to pull the trigger of her own weapon.The shotgun’s blast tore through the air as the slug punched into the closest attacker.His body became a twisted mess of limbs as he crumpled to the ground.She aimed at another and shot into his chest, slamming him into the dirt, his torso exploding in gore.She was able to fire into one more Hannibal before they realized they were being assailed from behind. 

The plan worked!The confusion sent the Hannibals in all directions as the nomads pushed forward from where they had been pinned down.V and Judy took out as many of the bastards as they could as they tried to retreat.

Shot after shot, V blasted through the gunman until a silence fell over the camp.She panted as caught her breath, surveying the carnage.The mangled bodies of the Hannibals were all that was left of the attack.When the nomads were sure that the area was secure, a cheer rang out throughout the encampment. 

V found Panam near the fire where everyone had gathered to assess the damage and casualties. 

“V,” Panam rushed over to her friend, grabbing her by the shoulders.Her eyes were wide with relief.“If you hadn’t warned us…”Panam shook her head.“Well, I don’t want to _think_ about what might have happened.You saved us, Val.”The nomad pulled V into a hug.

V didn’t know what to say.She hugged Panam back as the Aldecaldos began to crowd around her with murmurs of gratitude and praise for their favorite mercenary.Hands touched her shoulder and someone began a chant. 

“V!V!V!”

Others began joining in.V let go of Panam and turned around in bewilderment as they called out her name.How could they call her a hero after what she did to Judy?The thought caused her gaze to frantically search for the techie.She caught a glimpse of Judy leaning against one of the fuel trucks across the way. She stood quietly with her arms crossed as she watched them chant her merc’s name.Her expression remained somber and when she caught V’s stare, she turned her head and walked off.

V felt her heart sink as she watched Judy walk away.Somehow, being lauded as a hero after breaking the person that she loved just didn’t feel right.She turned around to see Carol standing behind her.The elder must have seen the techie leave and she put her hand on the merc’s shoulder. 

“It’ll be ok, V.Give her time,” Carol reassured her with a soft pat on her shoulder.V turned around to face the veteran.The merc found herself surprised by the warmness on Carol’s face.

“Dunno, Carol.Don’t even know what’s wrong with me,” V’s expression sank with sadness.

“PTSD, V.Just like so many of us.”By “us,” Carol was referring to the veterans. 

V’s eyes widened.Everything suddenly started to make sense.“Then what can I do about it?”

Carol frowned and shook her head.“Not much you can do but, we’re all here for you.Got a whole family of people like us that know what it’s like.That’s better odds than most.”Carol forced a smile, knowing it wasn’t what V wanted to hear.“Sorry, V.But for now, accept their gratitude.”She motioned to the people chanting around them.“You _deserve_ it, even if you don’t think so.” 

“Does it ever get better?”V’s eyes pleaded for whatever hope the veteran could offer. 

“Yes, but only if you’re honest about it…to yourself _and_ those who love you.” 

“Carol, I…” V trailed off.She didn’t know if Carol knew about her outburst.“I really hurt her.”Tears threatened themselves at the corner of her eyes. 

“Those that truly love you will forgive you for the moments when you’re not yourself _if_ you learn from your mistakes.She truly loves you, V.”She paused for effect.“But if you do it again, you’ll have _me_ to worry about.”Carol chuckled and smiled at the merc for the first time since she’d known her.The elder gave one more pat to V’s shoulder and was gone before V had a chance to say anything else.

V turned back to Panam.She was fucking exhausted and with the adrenaline wearing off, her head felt like it was splitting open again.Carol’s words stayed with her.The sudden clarity gave her something to think about but for the time being, she needed a bed.Recalling Carol’s advice, V decided to give Judy the space she deserved.

“Pan?Can I crash in your tent tonight?”

“Of course, V. It’s always there for you.” Panam place a hand on her best friend’s shoulder. She gazed at V with a sincerity that’d she’d never seen from her before.“Thanks, Val.I mean it.That was brave, what you did.You saved us.” 

“Just… did what I had to do.”V’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes as nodded to Panam. 

“Don’t worry about me bothering you.I’ve got work to do.” 

V nodded one last time, too tired to speak anymore.She considered the nomad’s words as she dragged her feet to Panam’s tent.She’d called her “brave”.Maybe it wasn’t all Johnny after all.V pushed through the door and flopped onto the bed, slipping off into sleep before she even hit the sheets.


	6. - SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the attack, V struggles with the truth of what's been going on with her. Now that she knows, she must take the first steps toward healing. Will it be enough to earn Judy's forgiveness?

_“The world is my expense_

_The cost of my desire_

_Jesus blessed me with its future_

_And I protect it with fire”_

\- Rage Against the Machine

The searing pain from her head tore V from her dreamless sleep.“Nnnngh,” she grunted at the mid-day sun pouring into the tent.The merc sluggishly pushed herself up, a wave of nausea washing over her.The drunken events from the night before slowly came to her recollection, playing out like some awful movie that nobody wanted to see.As far away as it all felt, she still knew it was her in the starring role, falling to pieces and lashing out.However, she was also the reason that none of the family was killed in the attack.It was hard for V to take it in, her sense of time warped by the alcohol. 

_PTSD._

The conversation with Carol came to mind.V exhaled as she thought about what the veteran said, that there wasn’t much that could be done, and how she needed to give Judy time to truly forgive her.It felt like getting the bad news about the engram from Vik all over again.The veteran was right.There wasn’t much that could be done.A lot of progress had been made for treatments for PTSD in the early 2020s, but after the Fourth Corporate War, it became more lucrative to let vets suffer rather than to help them.Corporations bribed people to fight in their wars under the lure of money and glory.Ultimately, it became about profits and veterans were left to fend for themselves after their discharge.Funding was pulled and their care, completely cut off.All of the research was scrapped and any further research, banned.All of this to save money, and instead, turn soldiers into cybernetic war machines.Wars were fought on the backs of desperate people and the price they paid was their soul. 

V sighed at the clarity.At least it wasn’t cyberpsychosis or her immune system destroying her brain function.It lifted a weight off of her shoulders and although it was still a shitty hand to be dealt, she could get through it.Her actions during the attack made it clear that she could trust herself to do what needed to be done to get to Tucson.She had the strength to survive long enough to meet with the contact and perhaps even live a long, happy life with the Aldecaldos… and Judy.

V grimaced at the thought of what she did to Judy.V’s apology the night before was sincere but it was coerced by the gravity of an impending attack.Words wouldn’t be enough.She needed to show it through actions.As Carol said, she needed to learn from it. 

_“I love you… even though my actions showed you I didn’t.”_

_Judy paused for a second before finally speaking.“Prove it.”_

V took a deep breath as the moment played in her head.Who could blame Judy for walking away? She had supported V every step of the way, begging to help her and be there for her.The merc was too stubborn, however.Perhaps, she was too afraid.After all, there was still no guarantee she even could be saved.

_“There is still hope and even if it all turns out to be for nothin’, at least we have these moments.Can live with that.I’m happy in this moment.With you.”Judy gazed amorously at her merc._

“Such a _gonk_!”V growled to herself.She took another deep breath and pushed herself to her feet, gritting her teeth at the crushing pain of her headache.Tired of wallowing in her thoughts, the merc knew she needed to get the hell up and _do_ something about it.That would be how she proved it. 

V pushed open the tent to the searing sunlight.She groaned as she stepped out, scouring the camp for the vets.Her eyes found a handful of them gathered around the metal picnic table near the command trailer.She trudged slowly to their table.

“‘Ey, V!”Taco waved and pulled up a plastic chair for her once she walked up.“Hair of the dog?”He held out a beer to her. 

V groaned but offered him a lighthearted smile.“Yeah.Thanks.”She took it and popped off the top before settling into the chair he got for her. 

“So!V!Savior of the Aldecaldos!How’s it feel knowing that we didn’t lose not _one_ soul last night?”Kyle slapped a hand proudly onto V’s shoulder, pulling her towards him to clink his bottle with hers.

V rubbed the back of her neck as she shifted nervously.Not one soul?She couldn’t be certain she didn’t lose her _own_.“Well.Uh.Good, I guess.Just did what I could.”Despite her discomfort, she felt quite a relief to hear that her actions kept them safe

“Stop being so damn humble, V.It’s ok to be the hero every once in a while,” said Sam. 

“It’s just—“ V paused, wondering if it was the right time to tell them about her struggles.“Got these things happening.My mind keeps showing me all this… shit.All of my failures.Over and over.I even—“ V trailed off as she swallowed her regret.“Hurt the people I love.”They nodded knowingly.“Carol told me it’s PTSD.Dunno know what to do with that.”

Taco smiled warmly at the merc.“You took the first step.Came to us.”All eyes of the vets gazed at V with an understanding that suddenly took the entire weight of the world off of her shoulders.

Sam leaned forward with a grin as if to deliver a secret to V.He looked left and right dramatically before whispering, “Kyle makes a special ‘cactus juice’.Not that stuff in a can, either.”The vets chuckled and nodded.“Helps us ‘reconnect’ with ourselves.Gotta do that from time to time with how often we ‘ _disconnect’_ to everythin’ else.When you’re ready to go down the rabbit hole, drink summa’ _that_.”

Kyle crossed his arms proudly and chuckled.“He speaks the truth.I’m no shaman or nothin’ but it does help.” 

V eyes widened.“Like… Blue Glass?”

“Ha!Hell nah.This is all natural.Fuck that lab made shit.A gift from the gods to _see_ the _gods_ ,” Sam grinned.

“And you’ve all done it?” 

“A time or two.Like to head out into the desert.Brings a sense of _clarity,”_ Sam boasted. 

“Sounds…terrifying.”

“Can be, but if you surrender to it, you might even find your soul.It ain’t always comfortable, but then again, clarity rarely is.” 

“Hmm.Good point.”V considered it before taking a long swig or her beer.“Might have to take you up on that at our next stop.”She glanced around the camp, her gaze stopping atNetrunner tent.Perhaps Judy was in there.She looked back to the crew of vets.“Thanks, chooms.Feel a lot better knowing I’m in good company.”

“The best,” Taco snickered. 

“Gonna try to fix things.”V frowned at herself in shame.“Figure it should be sooner rather than later.”

Taco slapped a hand onto V’s shoulder once again, offering a reassuring smile.“It’ll be ok, V.Let us know if ya need anything.”

V nodded her thanks and got up with a sigh.“Here goes.” 

With that, she set down her beer and began the trek to the Netrunner tent.As she approached, she could see Carol and Judy knelt down and working on the patch panel.She took a deep breath, stopping at the doorway and cleared her throat to get their attention.They looked back at the merc.Carol stood up while Judy glared from patch bay.

“V.”Carol’s expression was hidden beneath her sunglasses but V caught the faintest glint of a smile. 

“Uh.Sorry.For interrupting,” V stammered.“Was hoping to—“ She trailed off.The merc found herself at a total loss for words.Judy sighed and pushed herself to her feet. 

Carol placed a hand onto Judy’s shoulder.“Got everything under control here.If you’re comfortable, you have all the time you need from me.”The techie nodded to the veteran and then turned to V before crossing her arms.

“Fine.”The coldness in Judy’s voice made V shiver.Without another word, Judy swept out of the tent and to theirs.V struggled to keep up as she followed behind her.Her heart pounded anxiously from the impending conversation. 

Judy threw open the door flaps and moved swiftly to the table in the corner, taking a seat.V, on her heels, stumbled inside and caught herself on the stash box which she quickly used as a chair.Judy leaned back and crossed her arms, glaring at V with an icy stare. 

V’s gaze fell to the ground as shifted anxiously, guilt and regret pulling her expression into a tight frown.“Jude, I—“She took a deep breath, finally gathering the strength to look Judy in her dark eyes.“I realize that what I did was _absolutely_ unacceptable.Had no idea what was going on with me so I took it out on you and pushed you away.Out of fear.Yet, all along, you’ve been showing me that with you, there’s nothing to fear.Wish I’d trusted that.There is no excuse.”

Judy sat quietly, listening intently to V’s words.

“Tried to make everything go away and by not talking to anyone about it, I made it that much worse, when all you wanted to do was support me.”V sniffled as slow tears slid down her cheek.

Judy’s cold stare slowly melted into an sympathetic gaze.She remained in a prolonged silence as she listened.Slowly, she uncrossing her arms before finally speaking.“’S'pose it’s partly my fault, too.Didn’t ask what you needed.Just… _did._ Tried to fix everythin’. _”_

“No.Judy.Not letting you take the blame for any of this. _I_ was the asshole.I’m not like your ex’s or the people that’ve let you down in the past and I won’t let you beat yourself up just to get to my level.Not fair to you and just like you said, you don’t deserve it.Shoulda told you what was happening inside my head.That’s what you deserve, the truth and someone strong enough to give it to you.”

Judy blinked, carefully considering the merc’s words.She drummed her fingers onto the top of her laptop idly.Eventually, she stopped and spoke.“Can’t imagine what’s goin’ on in your head, Val.Maybe pushin’ you and tryin’ to fix everythin’ wasn’t what ya needed.How ‘bout we never do that again, ok?From now on, you always tell me what’s wrong and I won’t try to fix it for you.Unless, of course, you want me to.What I _think_ you need isn’t always gonna be what you _actually_ need.”

“Does that mean—“ V sucked in her breath.“You forgive me?”

Judy couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.“It means you’re getting there.”

“What do I gotta do to get fully vindicated?”V’s eyes pleaded with Judy, desperate to know what she could do to make it up to her. 

“Gotta c’mere.”

V’s eyes widened as she quickly did as she was told, almost tripping over herself to get to her.Judy reached out and yanked V by the collar, pulling herself up until their lips crashed into each other.The merc moaned in surprise but wasted no time kissing her greedily. V wrapped her arms around her and pulled the techie’s petite frame as close to her as she could, never wanting to let go. 

“Missed you so much,” V breathed between kisses, her bottom lip quivering with anticipation.There was a moment after her outburst where she wasn’t sure if she’d ever get to hold Judy again or whether she even deserved it.Feeling her in her arms again sent a rush of both relief and desire crashing through her.It was so strong, it took her breath away.

Tears streamed down Judy’s face, her kiss growing hungrier and more urgent“Missed you, too,” she whispered.She walked V backward, tearing at V’s clothes, desperate to remove anything and everything separating them.The merc did the same, tossing each garment carelessly onto the ground until they were both nude.The back of V’s legs hit the edge of the bed and she dropped down onto it.Judy wasted no time and climbed onto her in a straddle.She broke the kiss suddenly, her hands moving to V’s cheeks.Her dark eyes peered deep into the merc’s.“Hated every second of sleepin’ without you.Hated not bein’ able to kiss you.Don’t _ever_ do that again. _P_ _uta_.”

V felt her breath hitch in her throat as she peered back into Judy’s endless gaze.The merc reached up and used her thumbs to wipe away the tears from her face, caressing her cheeks softly.“Wouldn’t dare.”V pulled her back into a starved kiss, her hands roaming every inch of the techie she could find.She began to kiss down Judy’s neck, feeling her shiver.Judy snatched one of V’s roaming hands and carefully moved it between her thighs.She wrapped her legs around the merc’s waist as V’s fingers found their purchase.V shook with excitement, savoring the sensation of Judy, moving her fingers deftly inside her.Judy whimpered in reprieve as she began to move her hips slowly against V’s hand. V slid an arm around Judy’s waist, gradually pulling her harder and faster, her mouth capturing her breast between her teeth.She sucked and nibbled, swirling her tongue against her sensitive skin.

“Oh, Val,” Judy groaned.Her moans grew more fervent as she looped her arms around V’s neck and let her head fall back, reveling in every sensation of having her merc back.V turned her attention to the other breast, moaning right along with Judy’s pleasure.The techie rocked her hips with more urgency, signaling that she was nearing her peak.

“I love you,” V gasped just in time to feel Judy shuddering against her.Judy tightened her legs around the merc, pulling her deeper.Her hips moved in a frenzied pace as she road out her climax.Her cries of pleasure filled the tent and she held onto V with everything that she had. 

“Valerie.I love you _so_ much.”Judy cried out as her body trembled against V’s, struggling to catch her breath.She rested her head in the crook of the merc’s shoulder. 

They held each other close for what felt like a lifetime, neither one wanting to take the chance of losing one another should they let go.Finally, Judy picked up her head to look into V’s eyes. 

“Gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to you.How ever long that might be,” V whispered. 

Judy chuckled.“Holdin’ you to that.”She stroked V’s cheek before pulling the merc’s mouth to hers, kissing her deeply.V sighed.For the first time in a long time, she finally felt like things could actually be okay one day.For the first time, she _believed_ it could work out. 


End file.
